Funny Business: February

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Blueblood Bill May Soon Be Earl

by Neil Michel

He may soon be addressed as “My Lord” but William Capell prefers to be known as just plain Bill. In a region known for its diverse population (see Inclusion Delusion, page 32), one group doesn’t have a line on the census form – grocery clerks turned Earls.
    Capell, a retired grocery store worker in Yuba City, got the call of a lifetime from a British journalist who informed him that the 10th Earl of Essex recently died. The 11th Earl (who actually lives near Essex, England) is a man in his 60s with no children. That means when the 11th Earl dies, Capell (the 11th earl’s fourth cousin, once removed) will become the 12th Earl of Essex.
    Until recently, peers of hereditary titles were entitled to a seat in Britain’s House of Lords, a branch of government that must consent before Acts of Parliament can be passed. In 1999, the British House of Lords Act removed the right of most hereditary peers to vote in the 731-member House.
    Capell, 53, believes his great-grandfather emigrated from England to Canada, and then to Idaho, where he raised Capell’s grandfather, a cattle rancher and potato farmer. Capell (pronounced KAY-pull), whose father was an Army clerk, was born in Spokane, Wash. The family moved to Yuba City when he was an infant.
    The best-known Earl of Essex is the second, Robert Devereux, who was a favorite courtier of Queen Elizabeth I. Eloquent and vivacious, he subsequently fell out of favor and later attempted a coup, for which he was convicted of treason and executed in the Tower of London in 1601.
    These days, Earls don’t tend to make much news. “Unfortunately, there’s no money, no castle, no nothing,” Capell laments. But the lifelong resident of Yuba City is just fine with that. He’s happy at home 45 miles north of Sacramento with Sandy, his wife of 34 years; his son Kevin, daughter Jennifer and five dachsunds.
    When he does become Earl, Capell will be entitled to at least one change in his life. His formal name will become “The Right Honorable Earl of Essex,” which should make receiving junk mail a lot more fun. 

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